Staring

Job 42:5 ESV

I had heard of you with the hearing of the ear,

                But now my eye sees you;

“I could stay awake just to hear you breathing” -Diane Warren

Job has come to the end of his ordeal. He has remained true, enduring the ridicule of his friends and a youthful compatriot. Enduring the dogs licking his boils, the men spitting in front of him, the foolish advice of his wife. He now comes to the moment he has wanted to stand before God. God comes in the whirlwind and begins to question him. When all is said and done Job stands in awe of God and says “I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you.” He sees that God is truly God and capable of being completely Just in his sovereignty.

In the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and ninety-eight I was a youthful high schooler and Aerosmith came out with its hit song “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” in conjunction with the movie Armageddon. Chronicling a man who simply is in raptured with his lover and is scared to sleep because the sweetest dream is going to fall short of the reality of his life. I found out Diane Warren wrote the song for Aerosmith and is an admitted cynic of romance “having never been in love like the people in her songs”. It is an interesting reality that those that no so little of the idea are so infatuated with it and can write so movingly of something they have never known. Looking for the dream they never come to the point of letting the reality become the dream.

I have been guilty of staring at Kelly. Been awed by her beauty and grace. I have done so not to gain anything from her. Recognizing how much she has given to her kids, and to all the kids God has put under her care. Watching as she loses her temper with them and as she snuggles them at things that only make me roll my eyes, only increase my staring. As I mentioned, I do not stare because: I want Kelly to notice and give me something, because I want to find out something new about her, nor because I want to work on our relationship. I stare simply because of what I see and know of her brings me to a point of awe, and so I stare. (Often when I do learn something new, she is forced to endure my staring even more!)

I mention this because how little I simply “stare” at God, meditate being the more spiritual word, or spiritual discipline if you prefer. Meditating on God is something I know I should be doing more. Yet, often I find I come to meditating as a precursor to prayer, where I am asking to get something, or as a means to help me grow in the faith (working on my relationship with God). Thankfully I can only imagine what Kelly would do if I simply stared at her prior to asking for something! Often, I read the text and hear with my ear who and what God is. I don’t see him and therefore I don’t stare in awe as I ought, as he is worthy of. It is something that must be worked on in my life, that is why it is rightly called a spiritual discipline. If we proceed to only stand in awe when we feel like it, or when something specific overcomes us, we will find we are like Ms. Warren, having never experienced the thing we long for.

CORAM DEO